Circa 1965

Little boys have a way of doing things that defy all logic, leaving their parents to wonder where on earth they came from.  “He looks like me but, he didn’t get that from me” is often heard from the mouths of their parents.  I was no different in many ways.  You might say I perfected the art of questioning my origin.

There were many things I did as a little boy.  Some defied logic and others actually went beyond that to the point of irritation.  One such activity was my proclivity to put all manner of spices and condiments on my food without even tasting it first.  My parents tried a verbal assault on me first by saying such things as, “You insult the chef by not tasting it first!” 

Their next approach was to load my food up with spices by hiding them inside or underneath to see if I would flinch on my first bite after adding my usual amounts once served.  Nope! That did not work either.

After exhausting all other efforts without success, the frustration mounting, my father decided to take extreme measures in hopes of stopping my bad habit in its tracks.  Preparation took no effort on his part beyond a little white lie and a small bottle of spice.

In my usual fashion I came to breakfast as it was being served.  As I reached for the condiments a new one caught my eye.  “What is this stuff daddy?” I asked.  “Kid’s Catsup” was his reply.  That sounded good to me and I proceeded to put a bunch of it on my eggs.  Within seconds I was convinced I had just eaten hot lava!  It burned and continued to burn for what seemed like a lifetime.  Water only made it worse, and eating more of the eggs that were already coated with the stuff was not an option either.  Only time would ease my pain.  It did not help that both my parents were enjoying watching me during my time of need.  My siblings were no help either as they relished in my getting whatever it was that “I deserved!”

It was on that fateful day that my eating habits were forever changed.  I did not eat spicy foods for nearly 40 years before finally allowing them back onto my food and only then in moderation.  Anything that contains peppers of any kind is still considered a banned substance.  I know I have missed out on a lot of great meals over the years, but that was a small price to pay in my quest to avoid that kind of oral pain ever again.

By the way, if anyone ever tells you to eat “Kid’s Catsup” run away as fast as you can.  In reality Kid’s Catsup is nothing more than Tabasco Sauce.  A little “dab” of it on a child’s thumb will cure a “thumb sucking” habit instantly!

Lesson learned, message received!