That Can’t Be Good!

She was the 5^th or 6^th love of my life and I was her first kiss.  It was the winter of 1975 and we were inseparable except for the fact that we each lived with our parents and her dad was a former Tight End for the Detroit Lions.  Blond and beautiful, she was captivating with a sense of humor to match.  With no cars to steal away with one-another, we were relegated to long walks or forced to ride on the recently inaugurated RFTA free buses.  She lived on Silver King Drive in the area known as “Snowbunny” and my family lived in the west end.  It was really no more than a mile but it seemed like ten miles.

Our relationship lasted about as long as your average school romance, three months to be exact.  But those three months were special.  After school we would hang out at my house or hers, as long as her dad was not there to scare me off.  In reality he actually liked me but I did not know it at the time. 

Then it happened… we were spending the afternoon hours after school one day and found ourselves in the Martinelli’s back yard with friends.  Being the consummate practical joker that I have always been I decided to bury her in the snow and no I did not stop there.  I proceeded to fill her mouth full of snow.  The shock of it all was that the snow was not as white as I thought.  Much to my surprise and hers, she came up with a mouth full of dog poop and a little snow to go with it.  Under any other circumstance that would have been the end of our budding relationship but let’s not forget I was her first kiss and that meant something.

Then it happened, the three-month mark quickly arrived and without warning.  We were at the Sunday matinée with just about everyone else from our middle school.  We foolishly went to see Barbara Streisand in “Funny Lady” and everything seemed to be going just fine.  She headed up to the bathroom with the usual cadre of girls and never came back.  She sent emissary after emissary to keep me posted on the collapse of our courtship.  I never did see the end of the movie and vowed to never see Barbara Streisand in another movie again.  I was convinced my choice of movie was what caused the end of our romance.  To this day we still remain friends and she always reminds me of her first kiss and in return I never remind her of our little snow adventure.

I have also kept my other commitment and have boycotted Barbara Streisand ever since.